Fear only exist in mind...???

 

Hello Everyone.....

I don't know whether I am getting busier or lazier....but whatever it is, it is not good because ..having a blog and updating it only whenever I have the urge is no good." Might as well U don't have one..."...I heard the inner voice inside my head is saying....and I have heard it so many times, it has lost it's significance...the thing about blog or note in FB is, it allows me to write whatever I feel like writing or feel like telling the world...things that have great impact on me and wanna share with people around me esp the people very dear and near to my heart...but sometimes, it is either they are too far away, they are too busy to listen, they could not care at all or for the very fact that what is important and big to one person is really of no big deals to many other people....


Therefore...be able to let it out in the open on computer screen...is as good as telling someone...and if the writing is up to my own standard, then  I just hit the publish button and out it goes for the world to read....and if they are below par...all I have to do is keep them as draft for editing when I am in my productive moods or if I just hit the miraculous delete button...all the effort and time spent writing will be reduced to nothing...gone forever, well..technically speaking...yes, they are gone...


Anyway...yesterday, while driving on my way here for a conference...I missed the exit to Ayer keroh and had to drive all the way to Merlimau/Jasin exit...which is about 30km away...Why did I missed the exit,..??Other then the fact that there were way too many heavy vehicles on the road almost filling up the whole stretch of left lane...My mind was also very busy with so many things...thinking and talking to myself, all at the very same time...and yes..you are right...I am currently in Malacca...staying at the Equatorial Hotel and writing this entry instead of out there..having dinner with friends..going for fresh ikan bakar or even strolling at the nearby Jonker Street...


Probably one of the very first sign of aging is our laziness to be out there for no reason...I have no reason to be at Jonker Street..I am not hungry, again no reason to go out for dinner and even the smell of freshly grilled fish does not tempt me to spend my evening outside the comfort of my room...oh my...oh my...I don't want to grow old and become senior citizen yet....!!!!!


Oh my....My mind has wandered outside the topic I wanna share with the world again!!!

Anyway...
Back to the highway yesterday...I paid the tol at the Merlimau exit and was told that I would be able to go to Bandar Hilir much easier from here than making a U turn to Ayer Keroh...and of course, I thought so too...BUT soon..I found myself driving on a deserted road and started doubting myself...am I on the right road?But I did not see any junction since I paid the tol...??Could I have missed it...??Impossible...!!!Oh My...I was thinking real hard if I should take another route, when I saw the light at the end of the tunnel....YES..!!! I could see the road was coming to end at the T junction and there was a signboard...and silently but happily I said Alhamdulillah...many times until I lost the count.....

 

 

Anyway...this time around...It was very slow driving.That was my very first time seeing a different sight of Malacca...The road I was travelling was single lane, lined by palm trees on both sides.I had travelled so many times to Malacca..it has almost became my second home few years back...but of course...I only had seen mostly the Urban area, the fast growing and developing historical city of Malacca...not the so called country side..and it was a very new experience yesterday...nevertheless, finally I came to a traffic light junction....going right towards the city centre, about 22km away...there was not many cars and was easy to drive fast, not realising I was going at almost 140-150km/H...But, It felt the longest 22km I have driven my whole life...why??? I keep asking myself....I was going fast, only 22km away and yet it felt the longest...I still could not find the answer to this question...not even until now...why I felt it was the longest 22km I had ever travelled??


At the end I saw the sign board to Bandar Hilir,and though I was very apprehensive and unsure,somehow..there was a deep seated feeling that everything will just be alright...all these while, whenever I travelled for the very first time any where, somehow I always managed to find the place without difficulty, as if God has always been there for me...be it day time or in the middle of nite...on busy or deserted roads...God has helped me everytime...and probably because I had almost always believed it...never felt fearful and doubtful...and whenever I encountered problem on the road, almost instantly helps came in so many ways and forms...I could not stop feeling grateful, eventhough I thought it was a normal everyday kind of thing....and this time, yet again God has shown me his love, guided my instinct and giving me confidence...despite being on that different route and road for the very first time, I reached my destination smoothly without a hiccup... from A to Z...longer  and different but smooth all the way...and precisely at 5 minutes to 6pm...I parked my car at the hotel Basement carpark.( shhhhh!!!! don't tell this to anyone...BUT the carpark in this hotel is the lousiest one I have seen and been to so far...)

Thinking and pondering...I am very thankful to The Almighty...despite all my shortcomings, my wrong doings and all my sins...He has been very generous, merciful and loving towards me....Alhamdulillah.

 

 

My...my...I believed I have emptied my mind temporarily...I have poured out  what was occupying my mind yesterday...What I have writen this very minute, and what you are reading now is not half as good as the original script within my head yesterday...but until I became disciplined enough to write ideas before they are gone or before they are taken to the  back stage of the mind...you probably will not be reading any highly rated manuscripts or notes from me...just accept me as I am, read this as a piece of junk mail for entertainment purposes, or as it is so easy nowadays...just hit whatever button on your computer infront of you...and I promise you..I will disappear, until..further decision by you...hehehe...

 

Until my next post...remember ; that fear is all in your mind...live with passion and take care......